Monday, December 27, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!  Just sharing a few pics of our holiday - hope you are all having a happy and safe one.  We are at the tail end of a blizzard right now.  We lost power for almost 2 hours last night, so we lit some candles and watched a Netflix DVD on my laptop - it was actually nice.

We spent Christmas Eve at my sister's house - here are all the cousins:  Trevor (17), Josh (13), Cassidy (15), Christopher (he'll be 10 on New Year's Day), and Eric (19):

Jeremy and me:

Me, Aimee (my cousin Nick's wife), Shell, and Andrea (my cousin Matt's wife):

Calli and Cassidy:

Jeremy & Missy:

Calli, me, Molli & Jeremy:

Christmas morning in our new apartment:

My little stuffed reindeer that my angel Meg gave me 3 years ago (she passed away 6 months later), with her picture hanging off his ear.  This is one of those Christmas decorations that goes up first every year, in a special place where I can see it every day:

 Christmas morning - me and my sis-in-law Kelsey, with my father-in-law Richie in the background:
I expect to spend the next few weeks getting the apartment in order and everything put away... I hope to get some good pics to share once I finish.  I'm a little anxious to get through the next week - I just can't shake the feeling that 2010 was a terrible year and I want it to be over.  I have high hopes for 2011!  :)  


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Quick Update

Just a quick update to let you know that we moved into our new place this past weekend - I have been working feverishly ever since Friday to get this place put together so it would feel like Christmas around here.  I'll take some pics later to share - the closets are being done on the 29th, so I still have about 20-25 boxes to unpack once the closets are done, but it's already looking like a HOME.  I'm so happy, I could burst.  It's just so true, that you really don't appreciate stuff until you don't have it.  Spending the past 4 months as a house-guest at gram's was really starting to take a toll on me, mostly emotionally & mentally.  Christmas made it even worse - but we made it and we're so appreciative of all of the love & support we've received along the way.

As I was unpacking, I would squeal with delight when I found certain things - like my rubber stamps from TGF, All That Scraps, and Stamping Bella!  LOL  I am so itching to get back into making cards and participating in challenges!!!  Then there were some sad surprises, too - a few broken Precious Moments figurines... the worst was when I unpacked this beautiful Precious Moments nurse doll that my aunt had given me years ago... it was about 10-12 inches tall with a porcelain head and hands and cloth body... yes, I say "was" - I unpacked her, said "Oh, I am sooooo glad she didn't get broken!" - I then put her down, she fell over and her head smashed into a thousand pieces.  Such is life, right?  A year ago, I might have cried for an hour over that - more over the sentimental value than anything - but today, I have a different perspective on things.  They are just that - things.  So I threw her away and moved on to the next box.  I was quite proud of myself.

OK - sorry no pics today, but I have been too busy to take any!  I will be back later in the week, before Christmas.  Jeremy & I are off to do some last-minute Christmas shopping today.  


Monday, December 13, 2010

More on Grief...

This past weekend, I received a very nasty comment on my blog post titled "Grief" (click to see original entry).  I didn't want to publish the entire comment because the anonymous author mentions specific last names of people that I am not sure would want their names published, but I am going to copy and paste the comment here now, with the last name changed, so that I can respond to it.  Here it is:

"This is APPALLING I have never met you, but let me tell you right now, If you and I ever meet IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY. You have your whole story twisted. You have NO CLUE what the heck you are talking about. This part-

"She loved going for rides on it, something they did on sunny weekend days. On this particular sunny Sunday morning, Maryann was the one who convinced Richie to go for the bike ride. He came up with an excuse not to go, but she really wanted to. Because he loves to please her, he gave in. This is something he'll regret for the rest of his life."

Is COMPLETE CRAP. That is no where near accurate. Mary was supposed to spend the weekend at the cape with her brothers and sisters. But since Richie had just had surgery she decided to be a good wife and stay home with him. SHE IS THE MOST SELFLESS PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. "Maryann was the one who convinced Richie to go for the bike ride. He came up with an excuse not to go, but she really wanted to." Where the heck did you come up with that bull crap? That is pure LIES. After reading this I am steaming. I can't even put into words all that I want to say to you right now. They are not acting selfish. Mary is DEAD. What do you want them to do, accept it and move on like life is grand? I think not. You are so selfish and self centered. I am soooo sorry that Mary had to die, and now you can't move to your precious house in California. Wahh. How very tragic for you! And this part-

"I hope you have a hard time sleeping tonight. I will sleep tight knowing that I am a good person who would never intentionally and spitefully hurt someone else, and believe me I have put myself in your shoes."

Yeah that isn't right either. First of all, by writing this entry you are hurting the family of Mary! And I don't care if you have "put yourself in their shoes" because until this happens to you, YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Now don't go blaming Mary's brothers or sisters because this wasn't written by them. In fact I am not even related to the Smith's (name changed) at all. But something needed to be said about this. You probably won't have the guts to allow this to be posted but I don't care. May Mary rest in peace, and may the Smith family someday be at peace as well."

So now here is my response to this slightly threatening and certainly ridiculous comment - 

Jane, you said you've never met me.  You say you are not related to the family.  Well, I am related to the family.  I happen to know things about that day that you don't.  I do not deny that Maryann was supposed to go to the Cape with her siblings that weekend, nor that she decided to stay home with Richie because of his shoulder surgery.  How exactly does that prove that she did not want to go on a ride on his motorcycle that day?  Why did you quote me as if I was blaming her death on her?  That was not my intention at all - I was simply pointing out how awful Richie must feel about deciding to go.  I'm not sure why that makes you angry.

You say ""You are so selfish and self centered. I am soooo sorry that Mary had to die, and now you can't move to your precious house in California. Wahh. How very tragic for you!"  Where in the world did this come from?  I didn't have a "precious house in California" to move to in the first place - and since you don't know me, my family, or our situation, I guess you wouldn't realize that you sound like a complete moron because that is just about as far from the truth as you can get regarding how I felt about not having to move.  The real reasons are none of your business, but I had to address this.  
I agree with you - Maryann was selfless, loving, caring, sweet, and wonderful.  She was a devoted wife, sister, daughter, friend.  Where in my blog post do I make it sound like she was anything less than any of these things?  
You didn't think I'd publish your comment, and I almost didn't.  But the more I thought about it, the more I felt bad for you, since you are obviously in pain.  Since you didn't leave me any way to contact you, I figured this was the best way to reply.  I am so sorry that Mary died - how can you have read my entire blog post and not realize that?  How can you have read that and not felt an ounce of compassion for anyone besides Maryann's siblings?  YOU are the selfish ones, as your mean and heartless comment proves.  Why don't you address the real reason that I wrote that blog post in the first place?  Why would anyone who supposedly loved Maryann want to hurt the person she chose to spend the rest of her life with?  

My heart goes out to Maryann's family, even the ones I'm angry at - especially at this time of year.  May you all find peace however you can, hopefully not at the expense of hurting others.  I believe in karma, so it's all good.  And Jane - if you ever want to have an adult conversation without threats, feel free to e-mail me.  My e-mail address is published on my blog.  You take care now.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Dear Jane

Dear Jane - 

You are right - I won't publish your disgusting anonymous comment.  Since you admitted to NOT knowing me, how dare you judge myself or my family for our feelings - especially since you obviously have no idea what is going on behind the scenes?  You should be ashamed of yourself but apparently that particular emotion seems to elude many people.  Our hearts are still broken and we are still picking up the pieces... it's been 6 months now and I am just learning that grieving is a long process that goes through many steps.  My heart breaks for the entire family and my only point was that acting like jerks will not bring her back.  I stand by my original blog post.