Friday, September 4, 2009

Grieving, death just sucks.

So yeah, death just plain old sucks. It's been a long, awful week. We miss grandpa so much. His services were wonderful - the visiting hours were from 5:00 - 8:00 p.m. There was a line already before 5:00 and never slowed down much until it was almost over. He was such a wonderful man, he touched so many people's lives. From his family, friends of family, people he worked with, people who worked for him, people from the groups he volunteered with and just every walk of life that he was involved in. So many people. Everyone saying nice things - everyone with nothing but funny stories and smiles on their faces. And after 3 days of doing nothing but crying, it was good for me to see and hear all that. It helped me start to heal. Cuz really, it's selfish to be so damn sad - he would not have wanted to live suffering or unable to function on his own. His memory will live on with the people who knew and loved him, and there are so many!

So - the night before the services, I had to take my children shopping for funeral clothes. So not fun. But Trevor wanted a suit, and he picked one out that I thought was over $300 and it ended up costing about $80 total, and he looks like a million bucks, look at this kid, 16 years old:

Now here he is with his dad:

And the elusive princess, who was angry that I took this picture outside because "what if someone was walking by?" *sigh* She's 14 and a drama queen. But she's mine. :o)
I was very proud of the kids and how they handled this whole week, it wasn't easy on any of us. We are lucky to have friends and family who made it bearable and helped us to get through it, and we are so grateful to them all. It was even nice to see and spend time with so much of Jeremy's extended family, who we unfortunately don't see very often since they live in different areas of the country.

One thing I had always wondered was how people at visiting hours, the family, always seemed so calm. This made me realize that by the time the visiting hours are going on, the family is feeling numb, all cried out, exhausted. Now you just have to get through everything. But it helps, having these rituals and services and people around you, etc. It really does help. It forces you not to lie in bed crying all day - but instead to celebrate the life of the person you loved. To remember them fondly, with smiles instead of tears.

Rest in peace, grandpa. We will always remember you with smiles, and when we eat ice cream. hee hee ;o)

1 comment:

  1. It is so true - the rituals do help start the healing. Honoring our loved ones like that make us reflect on how they would want us to be and somehow that helps us be that way!!

    OH MAN!!! What happened to those kids I used to see at your house? Where did they go?? Cassidy looks 21! And Trevor is getting to be as handsome as his dad!! What a fine looking family you have there my friend!