Friday, September 12, 2008

Much Better!

I'm feeling MUCH better today, you'll be happy to know. I try to maintain a positive attitude all the time, I think that perspective colors your attitude, so I try to always look at things from the bright side. But hey, I'm only human and a girl's gotta be able to have a little mini-breakdown every now and then, or else she'll end up having a HUGE breakdown eventually.
Yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend of mine who SHOULD have been my sister. *sigh* An and I have been friends for 20 years. God, that makes me sound old. Well, hell, if it walks like a duck and all that.... So anyway, An's brother John was my first "real" boyfriend. "Real" as in we planned to get married. We were 18, need I say more? LOL We dated for 2 years and I loved his family like my own. An and I became fast friends and we couldn't wait to be sisters. Then John and I broke up and I think I was more upset about losing the possibility of An being my sis than I was about losing my boyfriend. LOL Well, we didn't get to become sisters, but we have stayed lifelong friends and I love her like a sister. We don't get to see each other very often, but it doesn't matter. Whether it's days, months, or years that go by, we pick right up where we left off and it's like we were just with each other yesterday. I love friends like that, don't you? Those are your real, true friends, as far as I'm concerned.

It's like that with my friend Holly, too. We've been friends for even longer - since 9th grade. She lived close to me, and I spent more time at her house than at my own. My mom was always thin and she had a million pairs of jeans that Holly and I would steal and cram our bigger butts into - every few weeks or so, my mom would pull up in front of Holly's house and say "OK - I'm coming in to get my jeans!" LOL And sure enough, she'd find at least 3-4 pairs of her jeans there. Then we'd do it all over again. Holly was always taking care of me, she's one year older than me and she always had a boyfriend. I was always falling in love with the wrong guys, and Holly was always the one to pick me up when I fell apart heartbroken. She's still one of my best friends in the world, and I am thankful to have her in my life.

So anyway, one of the reasons for my psychotic outburst yesterday was also because Trevor got in trouble at school. When I'm upset about something, it magnifies EVERYTHING for me. For example, I may start crying about something that I had not even thought of in two years. hee hee Seriously, though, once I let myself get upset and all emotional and girly-like, I just can't stop myself! I find myself sobbing about 9/11 (that hit me hard and the anniversaries are never easy), people who don't like me (oh - boo hoo, get over it, right?), and Trev's problems - the next thing I know, I'm babbling about homeless people and abused children and the lack of world peace. Then I kick myself in the ass and take a deep breath and finish crying and dry my eyes and continue on with life. So here I am, baby, I'm back to being the happy me. The cry-baby psycho has left the building. She'll probably be back just in time for PMS next month, though, so be prepared.

OK - so back to Trev. He got suspended from school for a couple of stupid things. Now before you roll your eyes and think that I am one of those mothers who thinks her child can do no wrong (and you obviously do not KNOW me if that was even a fleeting thought in your head), you have to hear this story. After I got the call that he had been suspended, I got a call from one of his teachers who left a message letting me know that Trevor has been a delight, a pleasure, extremely helpful, participating in class, etc. - and that she was so proud of him and she wanted us to know. See why my life feels like a roller-coaster sometimes? When I returned her call, I got her voicemail - I left a message wondering if she knew that her "delightful little pleasure" had been suspended?!? She called me back later that day and she was pretty much disgusted that Trevor had been suspended. She said that he had been doing so well, she didn't understand why they make such a big deal of such little things. I had to laugh, while I was crying, because she sounded just like me. She said that if they continue to do this to him, he will learn that no matter how hard he tries or how good he is, it doesn't matter - he'll get in trouble for something stupid anyway. She said she worries that eventually he'll give up. Let me tell you, I burst into tears and wanted to KISS this woman. Thank God she was on the phone, she would have thought I was really nuts if she had been in front of me, because I would have thrown myself on her showering her with hugs and kisses for being so understanding. Everything she said was exactly how I was feeling - and I had said all these things in the past, but no one seemed to listen. Trevor has 2 new teachers this year (she is one of them) and I can't tell you how good it feels to be able to feel confident about his teachers and know that they have his best interests at heart. I can honestly say I've never felt that way before. I met these 2 women just this past Monday, and I felt good about them the minute I met them. I truly think this could be a good year for Trevor if he gives it his best effort. He's thriving in ROTC and going on a "leadership camp" with them at the end of the month - it's 5 days long and there is a dance (co-ed, ROTC programs from all different schools in Massachusetts) on the last night. He is really looking forward to it.

So that's been my week - TGIF!!! Have a great weekend, my friends!

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