Me again

OK so I'm back already. I wanted to fill you in on my meeting yesterday at Trevor's school. First, let me just tell you that I was a basket case for a good week and a half. I don't really know why - PMS maybe? Maybe a lot of things combined. I try to be strong, but I AM only human. Sometimes I just have to have a breakdown, but it does almost always help to get it out. And get it out I did - I think I cried every single day for about 10 days. My freaking cheeks were so swollen, I could SEE them, you know what I mean??

So yesterday was our re-evaluation meeting. Trevor got in trouble yesterday for poking another student - physical contact is not allowed, period. He apparently was taken into the office with the ASSistant principal (I'm so clever, ain't I? hee hee) and another guy, one who likes Trevor - and they asked him what his punishment should be and he said "Well, you cannot give me another out-of-school suspension" and ASSistant principal says "Why not?" and Trevor says "Because my mother and I don't think I can be learning anything if I'm not at school." So he is asked, "Then what should your punishment be?" and Trevor answered, "Inhouse suspension." A.P. says "You won't like that, it's worse than out-of-school-suspension." And Trevor said "That's not the point - I'm not learning anything, I'm being rewarded by being able to stay home and watch TV because my parents have to go to work. I should be in school where I can do my work and learn." I was so damn proud of him. So they gave him inhouse suspension and they gave him LOTS of work to do - which is good, cuz you know what they say about idle hands being the devil's tools or something. That definitely has some truth to it.

So what we talked about was what is the next step for Trevor, because it just seems like he's spent so many years being bullied, teased, and NOT HELPED that he's developed this way of being ready for a fight or a confrontation before it even exists.... he has a really, really hard time reading social cues and understanding when someone is being nice, mean, or funny. And he just isn't learning what he should be. There is apparently a school in a neighboring town that is run by the Worcester Public Schools that is geared to kids like Trevor, and the special ed. chairwoman told me that they have had several kids with Asperger's be successful there after not working out in the same program that Trev is in now. He is going to be interviewed by a clinician from there to see if he would be a good fit. If she thinks so, then Jeremy and I will get an opportunity to go visit the school and see what we think. If we decide it would be best, then he would get door-to-door transportation, which would take a huge load off of my shoulders (I currently usually have to take my lunch break to give him a ride home from school - we don't do public school buses, we learned early on that it wasn't worth it). If I do not want him to go there, then we have to go to mediation and try to come to a resolution. That's when I would bring up the private schools that I found - but that cost a LOT of money. And if that doesn't work, then we'd have to all go the route of going to court and hiring lawyers, etc. I'd rather not have to do that, of course, and I'm optimistic that things will all fall into place. I'll give anything a fair shot - I'll check out the place they want me to. As long as it's not a school for juvenile delinquents, then I'll give it a chance. I trust her, too, and I believe she has Trevor's best interests at heart, so I really don't think she'd even recommend it if it wasn't a good school and she didn't think Trevor would be a good fit.

So again - we wait. Trevor will be disappointed if he has to leave his school, because he will lose ROTC. But there is a chance that he could spend a year or two at this other school and then return to the one he's at now for his junior or senior year (he's a sophomore now). We'll just take it one day at a time for now, that's all we can do. I'm feeling a LOT better today, every day, just trying to keep myself thinking positive and remembering that I am no good to ANYONE if I am a blubbering, sobbing basket base. I certainly can't help Trevor in that state of mind! And it feels AWFUL, too, you know? The more you cry, the more you WANT to cry, right? Do you know what I mean? Then every little thing that happens makes you burst into tears - and it's actually comical when you think about it a few days later, but at the time - man, at the time you just feel like that burned piece of toast or the guy who just cut you off is the WORST thing ever, the straw that broke the camel's back, damn it! LOL

I'm hoping to share some more stamping and pictures with you this weekend. Have a happy Friday!